A few random things:

- Stuff about pregnancy that totally doesn't suck: ice cream at 2am. Mmm.

- Internet Mamas: Anyone here using the Bum Genius 3.0 cloth diapers? I ask, because it's what we've been using with Iz since she was 2-3 months old, and they've been great... up until a few weeks ago. Suddenly? Leakage. It's happened at daycare a few times, and at home as well. Am I doing something wrong, here? I'm wondering if maybe her bladder has grown to a size where the cloth diapers are at capacity now? Does the elastic around the legs wear out at a certain point? (It looks fine, but it's not like I paid a bunch of attention to how it looked before.) Any comments welcome.

- I forgot to mention something in my rant about working the other day.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, my family was not thrilled with our decision to put Iz in daycare. Not only is it not a traditional Mennonite thing to do, but with the recent rash of abuse cases that have become public within our immediate circle of acquaintances, there is increased suspicion and worry around that subject.

My mom and I dealt with it over a series of conversations, and I was somewhat expecting my dad to weigh in on the subject as well -- mainly because I knew she had called him the day she and I had the Big Daycare Talk. A few weeks back, he tentatively brought it up after I made a comment about how good daycare had been for us.

"Your mom called me about that," he started.

"Yeah, I know," I said, preparing to launch into my multiple point presentation about why daycare was really good both for us and for Iz, and why it was necessary, and most importantly, why I wanted this. "You know, I'm much happier when I'm working, and the full time mom thing just leaves me..."

That's as far as I got. He waved me off. "That's just not your personality."

I stopped short, and cut off the urge to continue justifying our decision. He totally got it.

Not only that? If what I wanted was to never work at a job for the rest of my life, and stay home and be with my kids, he likely would have said, "Of course, you're a mother."

He considers it to be 100% my choice, and my right, either way.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but my conservative Mennonite father might just be a really rockin' feminist.

Well, if only that little slut hadn't worn the low-cut top, her boyfriend wouldn't have had to smack her around.

I really am assuming there is more to this group than the press release makes it sound like... but seriously, could they have made it sound more like IT'S ALL HER FAULT?

Feministe has a link to this article about the pay disparity between working moms vs. childless women.

What is the wage penalty for working mothers when compared to women without children?

Apparently it is a big one.

While study after study focuses on the gender gap in wages, the pay gap between mothers and childless women is actually bigger than the pay gap between women and men, according to sociologist Shelley Correll, Stephen Benard, and In Paik. Their study, Getting a Job: Is There a Motherhood Penalty? received the 2008 Rosabeth Moss Kanter Award for Excellence in Work-Family Research at the World at Work conference this week in Seattle.

Using fake resumes for two equally qualified candidates–one childless, one a mom—the researchers found that the mother was 100% less likely to be hired when she applied for a position. Mothers were consistently ranked as less competent and less committed than non-moms. “They were also offered $11,000 a year less pay, on average, than an equally qualified childless candidate,” Correll says in the author interview that accompanies the award.

And what about men? Fathers got higher ratings than non-dads.

In another study, the researchers used more faux resumes to apply to 638 jobs during an 18-month period. Tracking interview requests, childless women got 2.1 times as many callbacks as mothers with similar credentials. As for the guys? There was no difference among fathers and childless men.

I have a lot to say about this subject, which I don't have time to say now. What will say though, is that if I weren't a feminist to start with, becoming a mother would have made me into one. The penalty that society puts on motherhood is steep, and it isn't made easier by the disparity between our expectations of mothers vs. fathers when it comes to childcare. (Not talking about my specific situation here, as I'm lucky enough to have someone who puts a lot of time and energy into looking after his child -- but the degree of surprise that that is often met with absolutely shocks and enrages me. There is a very distinct element of "Wow, WAY TO GO for not packing your bags and leaving town!" in the attitude that B gets when it comes to looking after his own children.)

Doubtless I will have more to say on this later.

From prey

What should the penalty be for women who have an illegal abortion?

Funny how people don't always think about the consequences of their beliefs.

I put down A History of God for a few months because frankly, it's heavy, dry reading in places, but I picked it up again over the holidays. I'm in the section on Islam now and this was really interesting to me...

Today it is common in the West to depict Islam as an inherently misogynistic religion, but, like Christianity, the religiion of al-Lah was originally positive for women. During the jahiliyyah, the pre-Islamic period, Arabia had preserved the attitudes toward women which had prevailed before the Axial Age. Polygamy, for example, was common, and wives remained in their father's households. Elite women enjoyed considerable power and prestige -- Muhammad's fist wife, Khadija, for example, was a successful merchant -- but the majority were on a par with slaves; they had no political or human rights, and female infanticide was common. Women had been among Muhammad's earliest converts, and their emancipation was a project that was dear to his heart. The Koran strictly forbade the killing of female children and rebuked the Arabs for their dismay when a girl was born. It also gave women legal rights of inheritance and divorce: most Western women had nothing comparable until the nineteenth century. Muhammad encouraged women to play an active role in the affairs of the ummah, and they expressed their views forthrightly, confident that they would be heard.

...

One of their most important questions was why the Koran addressd men only when women had also made their surrender to God. The result was a revelation that addressed women as well as men and emphasized the absolute moral and spiritual equality of hte sexes. Thereafter the koran quite frequently addressed women explicityly, something that rarely happens in either the Jewish or Christian scriptures.

It goes on to talk about how men later hijacked the religion and began to interpret the Koran differently, and how Muslim feminists today urge their men to return to the original interpretations of the Koran.

This whole passage blew my mind a bit... it's totally opposite of what I had understood Islam to be about, and clarified for me once again the idea that there's nothing wrong with religion in and of itself. In fact, very often religion is what drives humanity's search for new ideas and ways of thinking. The danger in it comes from our own hubris and lust for power, and on the flip side, our tendency to become sheep and follow those who lead, rightly or wrongly.

To bastardize a bit of wisdom from gun nuts: Religion doesn't kill people, people kill people.

See what I did there? I'm probably gonna be giggling to myself for at least an hour over that one.

Merry Christmas, all!