A lot of people have asked me how the breastfeeding is going this time around, considering how hellish it was with Iz. I'm pleased to say that it has been going amazingly well, and I've basically accomplished that by breaking every breastfeeding rule in the book.

I had pretty much decided that there was no way I was going through the same experience I had with Iz again, and if the breastfeeding didn't go smoothly, he was going to be formula fed. For the record, I was totally okay with this option -- I'm not one of those people who thinks that not breastfeeding your child is the equivalent of leaving him outside in the cold dressed only in a diaper and one sock. However, I know the reasons for breastfeeding are good, and I was at least determined to give it a fighting chance.

Only, you know... my way.

To date, I have done the following really bad things:

- Fed him formula before he had a chance to get hungry. For the first day or so after a child is born, he doesn't need much... the colostrum provided by your breast is more than enough. Then there's a transition point were he starts to get hungry, but your milk hasn't come in yet. The idea is to get him suckling on the breast as much as possible, to stimulate milk production and get your milk to come in. With Iz, my milk didn't come in until day five, which meant she lost too much weight, and we got put on a crazy feeding schedule that left me a mess. As soon as Corbin started showing signs of being hungry, I fed him formula. I continued to bring him to the breast as often as possible, but I was damned if I was going to have a cranky, hungry baby on my hands if there was something I could do about it.

- Let him sleep through the night instead of waking him up to feed. Not that he's sleeping through the night yet, but he's sleeping incredibly well, and I decided my sanity and sleep were just as important as him getting breastmilk.

- Along those lines, I am feeding him formula at night, most of the time. This keeps him fuller than breastmilk would, and means he's more likely to sleep, which means *I'm* more likely to sleep. It also means that at night after both of the kids are sleeping, I get to sit down with my husband and have a glass of wine and remember that I do have an identity outside of being a mom. :) I am compensating for the lack of night feedings by putting him on the breast pretty much constantly during the day -- at least every two hours, and more if he seems to want it.

- When my breasts hurt, I gave them a break. Last time around, my nipples looked like raw hamburger for weeks. No joke. Breastfeeding was the most hideous, painful experience, I developed mastitis, I dreaded having to feed her. But everyone says you have to keep at it, or your milk production will decrease, so I gritted my teeth and kept going. This time, when I started to see signs of bleeding and scabbing (sorry for that visual), I gave them a break and fed him formula. I still had to work through some pain, but I basically cut the number of breast feedings in half to allow the nipples time to heal.

So, there you have it. At last weigh-in, he had gained 1.5 oz in two days, which is right on track. We'll find out at this week's weigh-in if this technique is working out, but I can say that he seems extremely content and isn't showing any signs of dehydration. My milk production is *far* better than it was with Iz, and I am nursing pain-free with no nasty scabbiness. I am also pretty well-rested considering I have a newborn, and feeling far, far saner than I felt at this point with Iz. So yay. :)

I think my milk supply is decreasing. I am mostly okay with this.

I noticed a while back that Iz was starting to fuss a little at the breast, especially in the evenings. Fair enough, since supply does tend to be les in the evenings, apparently. Of late, however, it's more obvious -- she latches on as greedily as usual, but it's not long before she's fussing and unhappy with something. Totally out of character for little Ms. I-Never-Turn-Down-Food. I've noticed other signs as well -- my hair is falling out more, my breasts feel less full a lot of the time, and there's some other stuff but we'll save it for the Sex Filter, thankyouverymuch.

I've decided not to fight this. When I noticed the fussing, I started taking Fenugreek, and trying to encourage her to nurse as often as possible. I will continue to do this, but am not gonna stress about it overly much, especially as I begin working again. I know I could take pump breaks at work to keep supply up, but honestly, I sort of lack the dedication to the Boob Cause to do so. I always said I want to make it to 2-3 months, then decide from there. Well, we're at three months, and if this is the way it's going, that's okay.

I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a wee tinge of nostalgia. Once I got through the rough patch (learning how to breastfeed will forever go down in my books as one of the most Horrible Experiences Ever) it was nice. I liked the feeling that I was supplying her with food, and the closeness of the experience. It was not the life-changing, Ultimate Bonding Experience ohmygodhowdidIlivebeforethismoment thing that the La Leche people would have you believe it is, but it was nice.

On the other hand, the thought of NOT nursing makes me slight giddy. The freedom!! To take a drink without thinking twice about timing! To go out, and not worry about when I'm coming back! I hope never again to have the experience of nursing in a gas station parking lot, or even better, a gas station washroom.

On yes another hand, opportunities to offend people by whipping my boobs out just decreased. I will just have to come up with alternative methods.

Yesterday I managed to breastfeed on both sides, with no nipple shield, pain-free.

I should probably not be as excited about this as I am. I am a boob-feeding ROCK STAR.

Hope it lasts. *fingers crossed*

Also, I have a huge bone to pick with every single so-called breastfeeding expert out there. They will all tell you that it's totally possible for all women, and that any pain or discomfort or problems you have is due to a bad latch. Bullshit, I say.

The reality is that we're talking about an incredibly sensitive part of your body, that gets minimal daily stimulation. Then one day someone passes you a baby and instructs you to hook it up to those suckers every two hours... and this is supposed to be problem free if the latch is right?

Complete bullshit.

Also, I have to say that there is something very satisfying about having your child happily snorfling away at your breast. I'm still not really super enjoying the breast feeding thing, although I have high hopes that will change at this point... but I won't deny the power of biology. There's clearly a reason the human race has survived for as long as it has.