But this makes me want to remove myself from the human race forever.

In a nutshell: a four month old baby was denied health coverage. For being too fat.

FOUR MONTHS, PEOPLE.

As one might expect, Shapely Prose has some stuff to say about it.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??????

I need to go hug my baby now. Who, btw, I'm feeding every two hours in an effort to get him to gain weight, because BABIES ARE FREAKIN' VULNERABLE AND YOU FREAKIN' WELL WANT THEM TO BE CHUBBY. Ugh. I hate the world.


Article stolen from ladykutenay. Outrage all mine.

I'm undecided about putting this one behind a filter 'cuz I don't wanna make anyone feel self conscious or anything. But an interesting thing happened on Facebook yesterday. Cut for length.

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Please go read this immediately, if not sooner.

And then stop dieting. Kthanks.

Glamour shocks women by printing a picture of a model with a stomach.



Gorgeous!

...And then, someone comes along and states something so clearly and so brilliantly that I am knocked flat on my ass. For instance, in this entry from The Rotund.

Here’s the plainest I can say it (and maybe I should just delete all of that wordiness above and come right down to this): External validation is nice. But it cannot be the only thing you have or you have nothing. Because there is no way to make everyone appreciate your outside no matter what it looks like. External validation can be nice; it can also be creepy and scary and full of pressure and expectation. It isn’t the end-all, be-all of worth, not for anyone but especially not for women. Let’s reprioritize the external validation, move it way down on the list. And if someone appreciates your outer package, let’s make sure it’s YOUR outer package, not one you’ve ripped out of a magazine because you think that’s what people want from you, because you think that’s the only way you can be acceptable.


Yes.

Stolen from whatbody:

BMI is total crap, and you can read why here.

From prey.

Family wants more benefits because they're too fat to work.

Y'all know how I feel about the whole "fat people are lazy cows who eat too much and never exercise" stereotype (for the new readers: it's bullshit, pure and simple), but OMG, I'll take it all back for these assholes.

The mother and father suffer from, between them, epilepsy, asthma, Type 2 diabetes and a heart condition. This apparently makes them unable to work. Obviously I know nothing about the severity of their individual conditions. I do know, however, that I have worked with people with all of those conditions (ironically, none of them were overweight). Some of them worked in the fitness industry, being all active and stuff DESPITE THESE DEBILITATING HEALTH CONDITIONS.

"We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner," Mrs Chawner told Closer magazine.

"All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight," she added.

Uh... no. Eating food that's good for you is not actually more expensive than eating that crap, lady. Ten bucks will buy you a package of boneless, skinless chicken thighs, a bag of broccoli, and the starch of your choice. I'm willing to bet you spend at least that much on "bacon butties," whatever those are. And with the chicken, you'll probably have leftovers you can use on the next day's meal.

Being fat might be in your genes, but paying for crap food is a choice. I'm not saying you should go out and buy organic everything and nothing but boneless, skinless chicken breasts... that stuff is genuinely expensive. But you can eat healthy food on a budget. I've done it.

Emma, said: "I'm a student and don't have time to exercise" she said "We all want to lose weight to stop the abuse we get in the street, but we don't know how."

I dunno. Go for a walk? You may or may not lose weight, but you are 100% guaranteed to see an improvement in your health conditions. Seriously.

Look, I'm not saying these people aren't naturally fat... they probably are. No one in that family's ever gonna be a size 2, or even a size 10. And they may even be predisposed to health conditions, which entirely sucks. But you know... do something about it.

And if you won't, stop asking your neighbours to pay for your ass.

Girls who think they're fat want to kill themselves.

And yet, Madge's trainer says it's not healthy to work out less than six days a week.

I guess it sort of makes sense! Because if you work out less than six days a week, you'll be fat, and want to kill yourself, and guys, that is TOTALLY NOT HEALTHY.

I feel like I shouldn't have struggled with it as much as I should have, considering the subject matter. It actually should have been quite easy.

It makes me realize that I'm probably going to have a lot of battles to fight in the next little while between the things that are good for my financial future versus keeping my soul bright and shiny.

Or as bright and shiny as possible, anyway.

K. It's late and I'm clearly punchy. G'night.

This is the first thing.

It was a year ago at the end of this month that I took a hiatus from personal training to focus on being pregnant, moving, and basically completely turning my life upside down.

In that year, I've done a lot of soul searching and examining of my own beliefs around fitness, health and body acceptance. I've read some really good books, watched my body swell with pregnancy and dealt with the aftermath of stretch marks and extra skin and omg this not-so-tiny pot belly that I suspect might be here for good. It's been a wild ride, quite honestly.

And now Izzy is 3 months old, and I'm dipping my toes into the shallow end of the workforce again. Since the universe has a sense of humour, it has decided that my first assignment is to write an article for a sports nutrition company. For extra irony, this sports nutrition company is actually part of my family holdings, which in a roundabout sort of way makes it *my* sports nutrition company.

I don't have a big problem with supplements. Although I think it's ideal (and more fun!) to get your nutrition from real food, I don't have an issue with supplementing if that's what you want to do, or if you feel like your body works better when you do.

Only I'm realizing it's way easier to write marketing type materials for anything fitness related when you're assuming that weight loss is part of the goal. And it happens so subtly, too. I'm writing away, and I realize that what I'm writing is not at all what I believe any more. So I erase it and start over.

And how does body acceptance mesh with wanting to have a fit, healthy body that does what you want it to? In my head, it's very clear. When I was training people, it seemed like a pretty easy distinction. Putting it down on paper is a lot harder, for some reason.

Hilariously, at this very moment I am eating Smarties.

This is the second thing.

I am fully, head-over-heels in love with my daughter. I am every cliched life insurance commercial, or baby formula ad. I sit here and stare at her, for hours. I am thrilled by everything she does.

But... I want to work, as in outside-of-the-house, not-connected-to-my-biology work. It's not that I don't think being a stay at home mom is a valid and wonderful choice, it is. It's not me, however, and every day that I stay home I feel like I'm losing a bit more of myself.

Only... I don't want to miss a second of this.

I've been leaving Iz at my mom's two mornings a week while I help B out at his office, and I seem to be fine with 9am to noon. If anything delays me longer than that, however, I can actually feel myself getting cranky and wound up, and needing to see her. When my mom opens the door with Iz in her arms, it all dissipates, and I'm immediately floating on a happy little cloud. When she rolled over yesterday, I was utterly thrilled -- but what if I had missed that? I would hate it. I would hate to pick her up and hear that she had her first word without me, or took her first step without me.

It's ridiculous. I mean, B goes to work every day. He's gonna miss out on a lot of this stuff, and I can't imagine he loves that. And it's not like I'm going to have her forever, either. I need things outside of her, so that as she grows up and needs me less I've got something to turn to.

Sigh.

I knew this was going to be a tough situation to reconcile, but I had no idea it was going to be this heartwrenching.

Can I marry Sarah Haskins? Is that allowed?

Jessica Alba before and after airbrushing. Especially around the waist/hip area... crazy.

I know we all know this stuff already, but sometimes it's nice to get a visual reminder exactly HOW unreal those magazine covers are.

Also: seriously, who looks at that unairbrushed picture and thinks that this woman needs to be digitally retouched? SERIOUSLY.

A friend challenged me on my Wall-E post, which I enjoy -- I need the debate practise for when I get on Oprah. ;) I said this:


K. So you said, "there is a consequence to inactivity and not eating properly" and therein lies my issue. Because there IS a consequence, I agree. That consequence is diabetes, heart disease, and any number of health issues. It is not necessarily fat.

What's that, you say? Every time you've started eating less and exercising more, you've lost weight? Yes. Research indicates that people have a set point where there weight is likely to hover. For most people, that set point fluctuates between 10 and 40 lbs. Now, on an average person, like you or me, 40 lbs is a LOT. On a non-average person, like (name removed) or some clients I've known, 40 lbs isn't a whole lot at all. They are going to be BIG, FAT people, no matter what they do -- unless they crash diet and exercise like a mo'fo, and we all know what happens to people who lose weight that way, right? Right. They gain it back.

I know it seems completely nonsensical and against everything that the medical establishment tells us. That's because, unfortunately, most doctors are uneducated about this issue. Many of the studies that tell us there is a relationship between fat and bad health (as opposed to inactivity and bad health) are either:

- funded by weight loss companies or other organizations with a vested interest in the results
- using bad science (i.e., they find that a subject loses weight and becomes healthier... but they don't try to find out whether that person is healthier because they've lost weight, or because they've become more active)

So, if we've dispelled the myth that fat = unhealthy/lazy, then we're left with fat = unattractive. And that's a judgment call, and if you find fat people unattractive, then that's fine. But I don't think it's right or fair to make fun of people because of they're unattractive. It's kind of mean, actually. And that's what Wall-E did. I think most people watching the movie will find that it falls in with their (and our society's) preconceived notions that fat = lazy, fat = stupid, fat = uninteresting. They will watch it, and they will feel disgust for those slug-like characters being propelled around in their robot chairs, and that disgust will be inevitably linked to their fatness. And that just feels wrong to me.

I talk ever more about this subject (yes, there's more!) in the comments to this entry here.



Also, B and I got into another version of this discussion this morning after he read my post. I don't have much to say about that (other than, I WON, HA! -- justkiddingBaby,loveyou), but I would like to mention that I am totally thrilled that Isabeau is going to grow up in a household where discussions like this happen.

B came home today with Wall-E, the animated robot movie. The robots were super cute, and overall the film was really well made.

But. (There's always a but, after all...)

Seriously, could this film have been ANY more offensive to fat people? I don't think they could have have fulfilled more negative fat stereotypes if they'd tried... the population of this space station consisted of thousands and thousands of fat people, being motored around in their robot chairs, lazily asking for their drinks to be brought to them by little worker robots. They all dressed alike, showed little to no initiative, and basically were... bovine. It was horrible. The movie took tons of little jabs at their fatness, and their inertia. (One character said wonderingly, "This ship has a running track?")

As the movie wound up, and the space station inhabitants found their way back to Earth, I found myself wondering if they were magically going to become skinny. Sure enough, as the end credits rolled, the closing scenes showed them rebuilding their civilization, becoming active and interested in life again, with their bodies becoming increasingly thinner. Because people who accomplish things are thin, clearly. It's only fat, lazy people that sit around having life happen around them, instead of participating in the world.

Repeat after me, people.

Lots of fat people are also active people.
Lots of skinny people are also unhealthy, inactive people.
Sometimes, fat people are lazy. Sometimes, skinny people are too.
Some fat people eat a lot of food. Some fat people don't eat a lot of food.
Chances are, whether or not they eat a lot of food or just a little, or if they exercise or if they don't, THEY WILL STILL BE FAT.

A person who increases their activity level and cuts back their calories may indeed see their bodies shrink. However, studies show that most of us have a "set point" where our weight is likely to stay, within a certain range. Someone who's obese likely has a different set point then someone who's thin. It's as simple as that.

Will those people see health improvements as a result of being more active? Yes. But hating fat people, making jokes about them, and putting them down as stupid or lazy has nothing to do with our desire to see them be more healthy. I know this, because as a society we don't tend to pick on skinny people who are unhealthy. As long as they are skinny, and therefore "attractive," they get a free pass on any unhealthy habits they might have.

Making jokes about fat people being lazy is the equivalent of making jokes about a certain racial group being stupid, or poor, or illiterate. It's not okay. And it needs to stop.

Yesterday the midwives told me that I can take a Gravol every now and then if I haven't been sleeping -- welcome news, since I've been sleeping on average in about 2 hour stretches, and it sucks.

Last night, due to the wonders of Gravol, I slept from around 10pm pretty much straight through to 5am, and it was AWESOME. My body feels so much less achy, my head feels clearer, my mood is lighter. I'm amazed at how much less pregnant I feel, if that makes sense. Things that were so hard yesterday feel much more doable today, and I was chalking that up to being pregnant... but the reality is that it probably had more to do with not getting enough sleep.

It makes me think of all the clients I worked with who wanted me to deal with their weight loss or vanity goals, completely ignoring the sleep deprivation and deeper lifestyle issues that were making their lives hell. I wonder how much happier they would be if they were just getting 8 hours of sleep a night, rather than spending their time and energy trying to make their butts smaller?

"Working out and dieting just to lose weight is so 2003."

Why Kate Harding rocks my casbah.

Specifically:

And can I just say, this is one of the many reasons why so many people, fat and thin, hate the fucking gym. It’s not because we’re too lazy or don’t like exercise; it’s because at so many gyms, the culture is all about punishing and depriving yourself, not moving for the joy and genuine health benefits — as opposed to appearance “benefits” — of it.

And this bit sums up a lot of how fitness professionals are taught to sell theirs services:

“So, do you have any particular… concerns?”

To her credit, when I said no and glared a little, she covered — asking specifically about injuries and whatnot, stuff she should know about as a teacher.

Me: Nope, thanks, I’m good.

Her: Okay, so you’re… healthy?

HINT HINT, FATTY!

Me: Yep. Thanks. BYE.

So. It’s my first class at a gym where I just signed a 12-month contract, and I have to listen to pro-dieting, anti-fat, anti-FOOD commentary throughout (there were more examples than the ones I gave), AND get an unsolicited pitch for “weight management” services before I’m allowed to hit the goddamned shower. AWESOME.



It's sort of embarrasing that I used to buy into that.

The toddler, she naps, so my brain is functioning again.

Body image and fat acceptance is something that's been on my mind a lot lately, for a bunch of reasons. First because I am obviously getting larger day by day, and the way people interact with me around that is really interesting. There is an assumption from most people that I'm not okay with it, and lots of reassurances given (not asked for) that it's okay, because I'm pregnant. Make no mistake -- I'm having issues with my body right now, but I'd say 95% of those issues revolved around my decreased energy and ability to move. I had not in any way anticipated the emotional impact that would have on me, how difficult I would find it to be unable to operate at the same physical level I did before. I feel weak and helpless and the number of times a day that makes me want to break into tears is discouraging. I'm trying to practise letting go of needing everything to be exactly the way I want it. It works okay sometimes, and not so okay at others.

I'm not saying there are no vanity/self-esteem/negative self-image issues at work here, because there are. My one stretch mark has, shall we say, procreated... my lower belly is now somewhat covered with them, and I waver between being okay with it and feeling something approaching fear about it. In moments of weakness I question whether I will be able to love my body post-baby, and I wonder what else is going to change that I don't know about yet. I have moments of, "Well, I'm just going to work REALLY HARD and be HOTTER THAN EVER," which I get has nothing to do with loving myself and everything to do with trying to fit a mold that is incredibly unfair to me. But these issues... they're really a tiny slice of the pie. I think if I could move freely and have the same amount of energy I had before I would barely notice them, quite honestly.

The other thing that's made body issues more prevalent in my mind is the massively increased amount of TV I'm watching in the past few months. Fat hatred is seriously everywhere in a way I never really comprehended before, in off-hand comments in sitcoms and commercials for beauty products and seriously people, don't even get me started on all the gym commercials and fitness product infomercials. The first week that Ms. L. was staying with us, we had the TV turned to a kids show (the name of which I can't remember right now), and the main characters were a group of cartoon kids. One of them was fat, and the intro with its catchy jingle showed him swallowing an entire sandwich whole, and his abdomen expanding accordingly, because obviously people are only fat because they eat too much and can't stop to chew their food, the gluttonous pigs. A few scenes later they showed him on one end of a teeter-totter, being hoisted up a rope, because clearly the kid is too fat to play like normal kids. I was aghast (although I guess I shouldn't be at this point) that this kind of conditioning starts so early and so blatently. I wonder as well what makes it okay... is there an idea that this is supposed to shame kids into staying skinny? Because honestly people, I'm pretty sure they probably feel plenty enough shame as it is... and it clearly isn't working.

It makes me wonder how I'm going to deal with all this when my little one is watching these shows. Do I say something to her? Do I ignore it and instead focus on how strong/smart/pretty she is? I'm pretty sure no matter which course I take, I'm probably going to screw it up royally at least a few times. I do know, however, that this has made me very motivated to be as good to myself as I possibly can, because no matter what I do, I'm going to be a model for her. I want to be a good one.

The Georgia Straight has an article about the Wii Fit, and has a refreshing bit in it about how BMI is really kind of bullshit. Granted, it still buys pretty thoroughly into the "healthy = thin" myth, but I give it credit for giving a more accurate representation of "fit" than most articles of this nature do.

Also, I would like to note that I am currently blogging about body acceptance, coaching the toddler on words from her My First Word Book, keeping the dog separated from her on the other side of the room, chatting with Carly, and IM'ing her mother as to whether or not the upstairs is toddler proofed. I am the ultimate multi-tasker.

On that note, I have numerous other thoughts about the Georgia Straight article, but the multi-tasking seems to have eaten them. Hopefully more later. Also the toddler needs eggs.

Last night I picked up The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls by Joan Jacobs Brumberg.



I've just begun it, but the first few pages brought up some interesting thoughts about body image, fat phobia, and my soon-to-be-assumed role as a mother to a little girl.

I'll cut this, as I'm gonna transcribe some paragraphs and it may get lengthly.

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