Went to the online forum populated by ex-members of my mother's church for the first time in a few years this morning. Still much the same... a few bright spots of people who've moved on to a better place, but mainly a lot of miserable people... still mired in their rage and pain (and somewhat understandably so, considering what's been done to some of these people), hating themselves, having Holdemans, hating gays, hating the world. Just trying to carve out some tiny little safe place for themselves.

I find it sad that so few have moved past their roots, and disappointing... but at the same time I have a lot of compassion for where they are. I think if I hadn't been lucky enough to meet the people I did in life, I might be there too.

I found this thread a little interesting, specifically Grace's answer:

My Dad used to say put someone where you can love them, I didn't get it then, but I do now.
I am able to love you holdemans when I put you in a category in my mind where my expectations of you are nil. No expectations. period.
May I share how I view them so that I can accept them? -as a bunch of crabs in bucket.
Did you know if you put one crab in a bucket it will crawl out and escape, if you put two crabs in a bucket, they will never get out, because one will always drag the other down.

I was thinking something like this yesterday after a talk I had with B. There's no point in continuing to be shocked and outraged and hurt when someone acts exactly like they've acted a million time before. You can accept them and love them anyway, or reject them and put them out of your life. Any other course of action is wasted energy on your part.

I need to practise this more.